Most of you know me as that doctor who talks about helping patients live healthier and happier lives. And some of you, if you are honest with yourselves, think that's pretty weird- but OK...whatever. You are probably thinking, "She is kind of quirky, but it's not a big deal because she gets good results with patients so she must be doing something right, but truth be told, she's a little out there."
Well, it's worse than you thought. I'm not just a little out there y'all. I'm finally embracing all the parts of me that make me whole and I'm coming out so to speak. Please let me share this with you so maybe you will understand what it is that I am getting at?
For as long as I can remember, since I was very young, I've always been carrying on a conversation. Back then I never felt any need to define it but I know now that I was just in conversation with my higher self. Some of you might think of it as an imaginary friend, some of you may think it's just plain weird, some of you might be freaked out by me talking about this. And you wouldn't be wrong to feel that way, because well, we've all seen the thrillers and movies, right? This doesn't usually have a happy ending.
And some of you, if you are honest with yourselves, think: "That's pretty weird- but OK...whatever."
Well my parents felt the same way. I was always guided as a child, sort of like a 6th sense. To me that was perfectly normal, it was all I had ever known, but I can totally understand why my extremely religious mother and my uber scientific father would find this absolutely disconcerting and why I was encouraged to bury this as deep within myself as possible. I mean, having a child who always says things like: "I had a feeling that would happen," or who might gently warn of a minor mishap before it actually shows up, or who might predict an unexpected visitor or boon... Like I said, we've all seen that movie!
There was one person in my life who wasn't taken aback by all this: My grandmother. Amazing woman! She would smile knowingly and say, oh stuff like that happens to me all the time. No explanations, no judgment, just loving acceptance and all the fun that grandmothers are known around the world for. That's what she was about.
I ended up following in my dad's footsteps and heading in the direction of science and research. I wasn't even truly interested in patient care back then. I'm a recovering researcher: facts, studies, figures, bio-statistical analysis! That was my jam! No space in that picture for the little girl who held her moms hand and pulled her back because she sensed a window was going to break. Couldn't explain that with science so it was no longer real to me and after a while, my inner voice became very very very quiet.
It took a lot of living, ignoring my inner guidance, many rough times and life experiences that may be considered less than ideal, for me to start again searching for answers. It's also interesting that my inner voice was never silenced entirely. That during my darkest moments, in times of what we might call crisis, when I had no choice but to let go of the control and open up to possibilities, its during those moments that I can truly say that I've experienced the greatest guided shifts. Those moments taught me that I am always supported, never alone. Would you believe that in my search, reading all the books, studying with the coaches and mentors and gurus, that I finally came full circle? One of my dear friends and mentors, Darla, who I have introduced to you, reminded me: "Believe yourself."
"I'm a recovering researcher: facts, studies, figures, bio-statistical analysis! That was my jam!"
Now I know! My inner knowing was never something for me to fear, never something to push aside just because it is unscientific. I was just born into the world, as we all are, with a guidance system, a direct connection to our higher power. I just happened to have enough of a quiet mind as a child to be more in tune with it than some of the adults around me, who may have forgotten who they truly are.
So yes y'all. I'm easing back into becoming once again in tune with my intuition. I'm hesitating again as I type this. I'm wondering what you will all think of this confession and whether to hit share once I'm done. Just know there is no artifice here. Just rambling from here inside my chrysalis. I'm just sharing; If this speaks to anyone then I will have done my job.
I have been hosting Ladies Power Lunch monthly now for the past 7 years. Every year for the past few years, we have had a theme. Last year our theme was "Uplevel." I was inspired to share with our group that 2019 was the year to uplevel our businesses, to make ourselves a beacon in our respective industries. So we spent the year working on that. Now looking back I also remember getting an intuitive hit that something of a storm was coming, but being an extremely positive person, (you've met me right?) I didn't focus on that part of the hit, just on the "Uplevel" part.
Come 2020 it was clear as day to me that this year was going to provide an opportunity for and involve great shifts, for all of us. We dubbed 2020 "the year of transformation," and even titled our spring conference: "Transformation 2020." Couldn't have been more clear than that, because the day after our conference, which ended up being a virtual event instead of live and in person, was the beginning of our local COVID-19 quarantine.
"Come 2020 it was clear as day to me that this year was going to provide an opportunity for and involve great shifts, for all of us."
I want to say that for those of you who have suffered loss of any kind during this time, that our hearts go out to you. We too, both myself and Sandy, have suffered tremendous loss during this time. We feel you.
That being said, what if...
What if this is the true transformation? What if this is the opportunity for us all to pause and go within? What if this is our time to really step into our greatness? Oprah and Dr. Nelson Mandela both say that EVERYONE is capable of greatness. EVERYONE. What if this is the time to be in service, not in a self sacrificing way, not necessarily in a success focused way, but in a way that serves the greater good?
What if this is the time for us to focus on what connects us even as we are being advised to remain at least 6 feet apart? What if, this is our opportunity to reach out to each other, with absolutely no expectation, no competition, and no agendas and watch what grows from that?
"What if this is the opportunity for us all to pause and go within? What if this is our time to really step into our greatness?"
I leave you with this: These images came up for me recently in meditation.
A Bright Light: We are in a time when we have access to increased clarity. We may be called upon in this time to be a guide for those who invite us. We are light workers and this is not a drill. It's time to shine our light.
A Stone: Representing, the divine and eternal; Encouraging us to lean into our strength, the energy of the earth, to know that we have within us the capacity for endurance and that we access the best of our lives through appreciation.
A Web: We are all connected. All our lives have complex interconnections that we cannot even begin to imagine. Like the spider, we have the ability to construct the life we want to live. We have the capacity for incredible creativity. We need to let go of the traditional ideas of vulnerability and realize that sharing from our true selves, as Dr. Brene Brown says, makes us invulnerable. Our superpowers present themselves when we embrace our diving feminine, appreciate the power of our VOICE, the power of our words, the power of our communication and the power of the connections in the collective.
I invite you to share what thoughts and feelings this is invoking for you. No judgement. Just curious. And please know that if sharing is not accessible to you at this time, that is OK too. As Darla says: "Believe yourself."
Sending you all the love and all the light. Be well out there.